We have these two blond female twins here in central Kentucky who sell cars on non-prime time television. They’re vaguely creepy. I mean, I’m sure they’re both really nice sweet women. But I want to shout at them, through the television, every time one of their commercials air, “Who Is Your Manager?”, because they are not handled well at all. They basically dress almost but not quite identically, apparently so us common folk can tell them apart, and they speak mostly in unison, repeating some inane car dealership motto. It’s not really showing the world the extent of their talents. I hope. Maybe That Is the extent of their talents, in which case, it’s sort of gross that straight men get hard enough watching a stupid television commercial about blond twins that they’ll actually make a car purchase choice based on that. It’s sort of degrading.
But I have hope in the entire human race, not to mention the Commonwealth of Kentucky. I feel sure that these two intelligent, talented women paid their way through excellent universities with their earnings from these commercials, and are currently buying up their own business empire. Hey, Dolly Parton made white trash Extremely Lucrative, why can’t these girls do the same thing? And I love me some Dolly Parton. She makes all of Appalachia look smarter than you thought we were and more talented than you realized we were and quite a bit richer than you’ll ever, ever be. Dolly Parton reminds us all to be who we are and have fun living our lives and screw whatever anyone else thinks because their opinions don’t necessarily matter, especially when you’re Dolly Parton, because she can do absolutely anything and everything and pretty much has and probably will continue to do so until she finally gets carried to heaven in the arms of angels singing “Coat of Many Colors”.