Please, God, let him be a nice guy. He doesn’t have to be handsome, but let him be cute. He can be a little bit chunky but not too heavy or else people will think we’re only dating each other because we’re both overweight and we’re the best we can do.
Please let him be funny. Please let him be smart, but not so smart he makes me feel stupid. Please let him be decently hung, but not too much, because that might be uncomfortable, but long enough and thick enough that I can feel it and enjoy it without too much fantasizing.
Please let him have a job. A good job. With regular hours and benefits and paid time off so we can take vacations together and see each other weekends and some evenings and maybe even eventually spend nights together during the week and maybe eventually move in together but only for a short time to save money for our marriage and a really nice honeymoon.
Please let him not mind that I don’t look like a fashion model. Please let him not make fun of what I eat or when I eat or how I eat. Please let him not be vegan.
Please let him not be too ethnic, and preferably the same color and heritage as I am because that would make Daddy the happiest and no one would tease or make fun of the kids, unless they got fat like me. Please let him love me for who I am. Please let him like cats.