Prayer for That Girl I Hate, part 2

Dear God,

Please forgive me.  I hate that girl so much that today, before she arrived to work, I spat in the seat of her chair and rubbed it into the upholstery so she wouldn’t see it but would sit in it all day. 

I didn’t really.  You know me, God, I’m one of your best Christians, right up there with Kirk Cameron and Stephen Baldwin.  I would never Really do anything that hateful.  But I thought about it.  I did it in my heart.  Like Jimmy Carter lusted in his heart, I spat in my heart. 

So please forgive me for spitting in my heart.  And I checked to make sure nobody was around and then I peed in her chair just a little bit as well.  But I didn’t really. 

Amen

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