Study Says Cell Phones Interfere With Women’s Hormones

There was a new study released today by the Academic Observatory of the Obvious which says “the radiation emitted by cell phones interferes with a woman’s hormones at such an extremely high level as to turn their brains into pudding”. 

Why would any woman, no matter how much she love her children, feel it necessary to call said children and speak with said children (a) while she’s driving to work, (b) when she actually gets to work and parks to tell said children she made the journey safely, (c) during her morning break, (d) during her lunch hour, (e) during her afternoon break, (f) while she’s driving home from work, and (g) after she gets home from work, to tell said children she made the journey safely and ask “what are YOU doing?”

This isn’t helicopter mom.  This is Psycho Mom.  And it seems an extremely high percentage (87% according to the above referenced study) are mother’s currently working for state government.  Odder still, mom is often speaking to her adult children, not her young babies at home with Grandma. 

This is why an entire generation is growing up with no idea how to make decisions for themselves.  This is why an entire generation is still living at home with mom and dad at age 26.  This is why an entire generation expects a successful life handed to them, but don’t have the patience to work their way through the drudge jobs we all started out in and make your way up through the corporate culture.  This is why our traffic fatalities has gone up dramatically:  Mom’s talking while driving, instead of watching the f**king road. 

What’s oddest of all, they all except this as “normal” behavior, and accept it as “normal” behavior in their friends. 

Mom, seriously, you’re not helping your children by clinging to them and “becoming their Best Friend”.  You’re NOT your child’s Best Friend.  You’re their MOM.  Grow the f**k up and ACT like a MOM.  Help your child become brave and independent and live up to some of that potential their kindergarten teacher noticed 20 years ago.  You’re not helping by hovering.  You’re screwing up their passage into adulthood. 

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