I’m As Free As My Bad Hair

Have you ever noticed that it is usually the same ass wipes who insist on riding their motorcycles helmet-less down a busy interstate during rush hour because “I Have A Right Not To Wear A Helmet” which I translate to mean “I Have A Right To Splatter My Brains All Over Your Car When Some Crazy Old Bitch With Road Rage Hits Me With Her SUV” who wear a free polyester feed-corn hat every f**king place they go including church and court?   

(for those of you living in civilization who don’t get the point of reference: A feed-corn hat is a cheap promotional baseball cap given away at trade fairs and on site by feed stores to promote particular brands of feed or particular feed stores.)

(for those of you living in civilization who still don’t get what the f**k I’m taking about: A feed store is a specific store one goes to in the country to purchase “feed” for livestock, normally corn or grain, sometimes fortified with vitamins or medicines.)

(rednecks tend to wear their feed-corn hats everywhere, to hide their receding hairline, their thinning hair, their bald spot, or the fact that they haven’t washed their hair for several days. They only tend to take them off when riding a motorcycle without a helmet.)

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