Big Haired Women

Big Hair is not a new phenomenon in the South. But BAD big hair has become a real problem in Kentucky recently.

It’s bad enough that women of a certain age no longer have the common sense to cut their hair to a reasonable length because it’s “fashionable” to have long hair and “my hair has always been my best feature”. Be real, ladies. Fashionable is what looks best on YOU, not on your daughter or some television star. Most women do NOT look good in long hair. And seriously, if you still think your hair is your best feature, at your age, perhaps you should back completely out of the fashion game and focus on developing a sparkling personality.

What makes it painful is white women don’t take any pains to make their big hair big. Black women and drag queens do amazing big hair in Kentucky, but all these damn white women just grow it out, over-process it into a big frizzy mass and some extremely unflattering color, and then pull the whole damn thing up on top of her head in a topknot, like Pebbles or Madonna or I Dream Of Jeannie. Your 15-year-old daughters may be able to get away with knotting their hair up in a bird’s nest on top of her head, but if you HAVE a 15-year-old daughter, then you should by now be mature enough to realize IT DOESN’T LOOK THE SAME ON YOU. MY GOD WOMAN, DRESS YOU AGE AND GET YOUR DAMN HAIR CUT. AND LET A PROFESSIONAL COLOR IT FOR A CHANGE INSTEAD OF WHATEVER BRAND OF HOME HAIR DYE IS AVAILABLE ON THE CLEARANCE RACK.

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