Sparkles and Glitter

I am already extremely OVER this current female fad of sparkles and glitter and rhinestones on cheap t-shirts and blouses.  We all appreciate a little bling now and then, but a t-shirt from Old Navy with sequins all over the boobs is not glamorous.  It just draws attention to your boobs, which (a) are much too big to be squeezed into that tight damn t-shirt, or (b) much too small to even bother drawing any attention what-so-ever to, or (c) COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE TO WEAR TO WORK, BITCH.  GO HOME AND TAKE THAT OFF RIGHT NOW. 

I swear to god, I’ve had women come to job interviews dressed with sparkles and glitter and sequins and blue fingernail polish and pink hair and I’m always polite and nice about it, but I’m thinking “Do You Realize you’re not auditioning for America’s Next Top Model?  Do You Realize you’re not auditioning for The X Factor?  Do You Realize this is an actual job interview for an actual job in an actual professional state office building and Do You Realize that you’ve offended me so thoroughly by showing up dressed inappropriately that I wouldn’t hire you as a stripper at my best friends Bachelor Party much less as an employee?”

What are women thinking?  That somehow it’s sexy to splash sequins all over their boobs?  It works in Vegas, but this isn’t Vegas, this is Kentucky.  But then, in Kentucky, most of us have completely forgotten the work our mothers and grandmothers did to try and ensure equal rights for women, and instead, now, we just want to be Barbie Girls our entire life and Being Pretty Is Enough, and I Don’t Have To Be Smart If I Have Spangles On My Tits.  It’s really sad. 

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