I Hate My Job Today

I Hate My Job, Today.  Today, I Hate My Job.  I Hate, Today, My Job.  Some days there is no real reason except everything, and you just f**king hate your job and you wonder how you can possibly get up in the morning and do it again. 

You selfish pig, at least you Have a job.  Not just a job, but a JOB.  With Benefits.  And a Retirement Plan.  And Paid Holidays.  And Insurance.  There are a million people out there who would gladly put up with a whole world of shit just to be in your overpriced and vaguely uncomfortable shoes.  You Ass. 

Still,  some days, it’s nothing in particular, it’s just everything, and it gets you down.  It’s this overwhelming sense of disillusionment and hopelessness that pulls you so low you can hardly move or think or act.  The system is just broken, and nothing you do seems to matter or help fix the problem, even though 20 years ago you vowed that the best way to fix the system was from within. 

The system apparently doesn’t Want to be fixed.  You suggest “hey, why don’t we fix this report to actually report useful information that we can then use to improve our processes?”  You suggest “hey, why don’t we refocus our priorities and demand a specific level of performance from our employees, instead of accepting that most of them don’t really read very well and should never have been hired in the first place?”  You suggest “hey, why don’t we make obtaining our necessary services a more pleasant experience for the public, instead of living up to their expectations of our ineptitude?”  You know what you’re talking about.  You’re not stupid.  You’ve been working in this system for 20 years, and you have a pretty good idea of what it is and isn’t capable of.  You understand exactly how simple some basic programming and streamlining of processes is, and you understand the benefit to everyone involved.

But nobody listens to you. They treat you like a f**king idiot.  Because it’s just Easier to do nothing than to do Something.  And after 20 years, you find it becoming easier Not to do something than to fight with the people who are damned and determined to do nothing. 

It’s degrading.  It’s humiliating.  It’s soul sucking.  But you’re 20 years in, and you’re eligible for full retirement if you can just ride out the storm for a few more years.  And you need that paycheck, to pay the bills, so that maybe, just maybe, when you finally do retire, you and your Boyfriend can go someplace better, where there are smarter people who care more about their jobs and their communities and their lives than they do their prescription and non-prescription pharmaceuticals.  And you cross your fingers and hope that by then, our health care system works properly too, so people can get the drugs they need when they need them at a reasonable price, rather than a system that allows quacks to write millions of dollars of prescriptions for controlled substances without our state medical board questioning their ethics. 

It just drags you down.  It doesn’t have to be a bad day.  It doesn’t have to be a stressful day.  It’s just another day, and sometimes, that alone is just too much.  And you f**king Hate your job, today.  And you hope it gets better tomorrow.   

 

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