Working With Girls

Most people are of the false impression that State Government is a Boy’s Club, when in fact most straight men refuse to sit still that long and would rather work at a more manly job for half the pay just to prove they actually have a dick somewhere down there in all that overgrown untrimmed pubic hair. State Government is Girl World, and not always in a nice way. There’s always a faint aroma of tuna in the air.

Take today, for example; after a long and arduous interview panel process that took several weeks to complete in order to hire one entry-level employee, two of my female coworkers and my peers on said interview panel, kicked me soundly in the balls with their little pointy high heels and then ran swiftly to the boss to tell her that the Old Guy was being mean and wouldn’t let them hire their friend instead of hiring the most qualified applicant, which is the entire reason we go through the above referenced long and arduous interview panel process.

It really hurt my feelings. I really like both these women, and had hopes of possibly even forming friendships with them, because they’re both intelligent and clever and a refreshing change from the normal vague competence that passes for lower management in Kentucky State Government. They Asked me to be on their panel, to guide them through the overcomplicated twists and turns caused when our Cabinet’s Human Resources Department attempts to interpret State Personnel Law. And I did. And when they didn’t like the final answer, they kicked me in the balls and blah blah blah.

My boss and I spoke late today about the incident, After she had spoken with the two of them as a team, and then each of them privately, and then with our human resource chick who changes the rules to suit her current mood, and then with our assistant director. Christ, you’d think I had committed one of the seven deadly sins, rather than try to explain to them why we used the process we use to determine the best qualified candidate and then use said process to actually hire the best qualified candidate. Hiring the Best lifts up the entire unit, section, branch, division, and cabinet, whereas hiring the slug who has been sitting in the seat as a temp keeping the seat warm for the past two years just ensures that absolutely nothing will change for the better. Sigh.

So I basically gave up. Let the boss make the call, but I’m fairly sure after a great deal of time and effort to cover everyone’s asses, she’ll side with the other girls. It’s not my employee, it’s not my problem, and I frankly do not give a flying shit. Except that I do. I actually care, and it bothers me that we’re making an executive decision to NOT improve. But my balls hurt from the kicking and I’d rather keep my nuts intact than bicker with a bunch of girl state workers.

Some days, though, you really miss working with guys, and you understand why they are willing to work for half the pay at Lowes or selling telephones at the kiosk in the mall. State Government makes you put up with entirely too much bullshit in exchange for insurance and paid state holidays, but you get to wear nicer socks.

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