Girl Smells

Women have built this huge myth that they have more sensitive noses than men do and therefore, are allowed to comment on said smells whenever the hell they feel like it. “Did you eat garlic last night?” “Is that patchouli I smell?” “I smell feet.” No regard for the fact that the guy who did indeed eat and enjoy garlic for dinner last night, and is wearing a patchouli-based cologne that costs more than her snotty little shoes, and hey, sorry, but by the end of a very busy day, some of us will have some foot odor built up and just be happy I still have my shoes on, bitch, because when I take them off it’s going to be a real stomach churner, no matter that the poor guy might actually get his feeling hurt.

We have noses too. We just don’t feel it necessary to announce every time we smell something unpleasant. “I smell copper – are you on your period?” “I smell tuna – are you ovulating?” “I smell some horrible fruit and berry based shampoo more appropriate to my 12-year old daughter but certainly not appropriate for a woman older than say, 21, and hey, is that YOU?”

See, if I say these things to a woman, I’ll end up being sued for sexual harassment, whereas a woman can make fun of my manhood smells and I’m just a f**king pig who deserves to be officially reprimanded because I do indeed smell bad (by girl standards). God help me if I forget to wear deodorant or don’t wipe my ass thoroughly.

No matter what we say or how far we’ve come, the sexes are not yet anywhere close to being equal.

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