Soft Surroundings

So it ’tis the season and everyone and anyone is filling my mailbox with print catalogues, which is sort of odd since both myself and the Boyfriend purchase practically everything online and haven’t used a print catalogue for anything but compost for years. And yesterday, one arrives called “Soft Surroundings” and I’m like WTF? Who in the hell did you folks buy my mailing address from? Because it’s addressed to me, and all it is, is overpriced, cheaply made girl clothes and this is pretty much a two guy and one boy-dog household and none of us does drag.

Our world consists of Lots of angles and geometric shapes. Mid-Century Modern. Perhaps a tad stark for some. Hardwood and tile. Glass and steel. Hard dicks and hard bodies, (or at least decently preserved middle-aged bodies). Lots of Very White Paint. There is nothing Soft about our Surroundings.

We don’t even buy clothes for the girls, because I have two step-daughters and one niece and none of them will give you a straight answer when you ask what size do you wear? None of them are obese. They’re all quite attractive, and they all know we both have pretty excellent taste and will dress them nicely if given the opportunity, but since they won’t tell, I won’t buy and then have them exchange because that whole game just pisses me off. Here, I give you something, you take it and like it and keep it. You do not exchange it tomorrow. I shopped hard for this shit, and if you don’t like it, at least have the decency to give it to goodwill.

So how I the hell did I get on the mailing list for the Christmas catalogue of Soft Surroundings? No idea. But hey, compost is compost….

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