True Story/Urban Legend #2

There is a small, family owned furniture store in Lawrenceville, Kentucky, who recently decided to go “big time” and roll out their own television advertising campaign, starring who else but themselves, which is always a bad idea. Their big selling point? “Sofas and Armchairs Now Available in camouflage!” They have two of the young adult children dressed up like duck dynasty and waving guns around as they sit on the sofa and recliner that just happens to match their clothes. Their tag line? “This Recliner Cost Less Than My Gun!”

This is true, I swear, you can’t make this dumb shit up, this is really happening, today, in early 2014, in central Kentucky. We wonder why we’re here in 2014 but still not driving those flying cars from the Jetsons, but then we remember, Oh Yes, I See, We’re All About Duck F**king Dynasty and that’s what we’re watching on television with our kids instead of Sesame Street, and we’ve managed to evolve Backwards in many southern parts of the USA while the rest of the world is roaring forward, discovering new things every day, technology changing every day, everything we see and do and are changing every day, mostly in a good way. Except in one little shithole furniture store in Lawrenceburg KY that thinks it’s a Martha Stewart Good Thing to sell cheap sofas and recliners upholstered in camouflage print. God Bless Us Every One.

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