Superiority Dance

So the nicest thing about being gay in Kentucky is we always get to feel a little bit superior to everyone else, because, basically, we are. But just being gay isn’t necessarily a “get out of jail free” card. You can’t escape who you are and where you were born and your genes and DNA and all sorts of fun shit.

For example, I met a rather attractive young man last week, and we were conversing, and the conversation turned to being Out and Proud in the middle of nowhere, and he told a long and detailed story about how he dragged his boyfriend through the local Wal-Mart holding his hand, and Fuck Them If They Can’t Take A Joke, and how mortified his boyfriend was since said boyfriend had grown up in that tiny little town and taught school in that tiny little town and wasn’t ashamed of who he was but didn’t necessarily want to get beat up by some redneck in that tiny little town.

And I mentioned, trying to get in a few words, that I fear guns more than anything, because every Bozo seems to have guns mounted on the back of their trucks and in their glove boxes and sticking out of their pants and some redneck in that tiny little town might have just decided he was so offended by the love of two men as displayed by their walking hand-in-hand in Wal-Mart that said redneck might have blown the rather attractive young man and his boyfriend away.

And then it happened. “Well, he better be a faster draw and a better shot than I am because rednecks aren’t the only ones with guns” said the attractive young man and suddenly he wasn’t so attractive anymore. Almost like magic, he spoke those words and instantly changed from cute and hunky to just another stupid guy with a penis. And a gun. More importantly, a stupid guy with a penis and a gun who probably should Never Ever have access to a gun because eventually, he’s going to hurt someone with the goddamn thing. He’s just another idiot looking for an excuse to shoot someone.

We can’t live in fear of bullies. But gay men have lived in fear of bullies our entire lives, and old habits die hard. Defending yourself is acceptable, and often, the only intelligent option. But adopting their patter, their language, their stupid words, to spout right-wing NRA horseshit makes us just as ignorant as they are. And that takes all the fun out of being superior to straight folks.

Needless to say, I did NOT f**k his hunky little ass. And he really, Really wanted me to do so.

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