Here in the Midwest, Wal-Mart is like Disneyland for poor people; all your dreams come true, all your fantasies come to life, everything you ever wanted is just waiting there for you. Only here, in Kentucky, it’s like that awful television show where they finally won a trip to Disneyland and were trying so hard to have a good time that they were all miserable and horrible and screaming at each other in the aisles.
And you can get lost there very easily if you don’t have a map. And most of the merchandise is cheap awful child-labor third-world crap, which is a real shame because both Disney and Wal-Mart have enough influence that if they chose to only sell made in America goods, or at least made sustainably, or fair trade, that they could still keep prices reasonable and profits large because people would open independent factories just to supply them.
But there are things there, magical things, that you never knew existed, like plastic cups with lids and straws that look just like you purchased a large soda at a fast food restaurant, but can be taken home and washed in the dishwasher, so you can have the high fashion of hauling an oversized fast food paper cup around without the expense of actually buying a $2 soda from Mickey D’s. Because in state government, you can tell who the big dogs are by who carries in the oversized soda cup to a meeting.