Things are not happening the way they are supposed to. Events are not occurring as planned. Schedules are not as I was told. Appointments are not being kept. Routines have been interrupted. And, slave to my own routines that I am, this naturally should make me Freaking Insane.
Oddly, though, I’m not Freaking Insane, for the most part. I’m strangely calm. Fairly relaxed. Mostly Very Happy. I can exit my workplace and sit in my car and eat my lunch and find myself, unexpectedly, Completely Blissed Out.
Because, apparently, once everything you’re used to, everything you’ve sort of stacked around yourself as a wall, the schedules and routines and expectations, once that all goes down the toilet, or even just changes a tiny little bit, one starts letting go, because one has no choice but to let go of that illusion of control or go Freaking Insane.
And right now, I’d rather find myself Completely Blissed Out than Freaking Insane.