So, I’m a loud and firm believer that Real Men do NOT wear outfits. Outfits are purchased by grandmothers for little bitty kids, or for lazy straight men who allow their wives to dress them like they were still in grade school. No man with any balls at all will wear a pair of pants that was bought to wear with a specific shirt, unless said man is under the age of 25 and extremely, happily gay, because young gay men are extremely happy to waste a large chunk of their hard-earned cash on how they look for one single night on the dance floor, and they will never wear said “outfit” again.
That said, it’s really not hard to find a shirt that doesn’t look screamingly awful with a pair of pants, in any man’s closet. You pull out a pair of short and a t-shirt and you’re good to go. And since most men who shop for themselves tend to buy the same neutrals or colors they specifically like over and over again, everything sort of matches up more or less.
So last night I had to break down and make a trek into a Wal-Mart, to pick up milk, because it was there and I was there and I needed milk for the Boyfriend’s coffee this morning. And this creepy looking lady came up to me and got right in my face with her breath reeking of cheap cigarettes and said “I LOVE your outfit” and I didn’t mean to hurt her but I actually knocked out a tooth when I punched her in the face for the insult; but instead of getting mad or shooting me or calling the police, she said “Thanks, that tooth has been paining me for weeks now” and she turned and left.
She did not pick up her tooth, and neither did I. Clean-up on aisle 4, please.