Shrimp Tales

I will be so glad when the great and the minor chefs of our country finally get over this need to serve shrimp with the tails still attached. I don’t care how it’s cooked, please, someone, Take The Damn Tails Off! It is vaguely disgusting to be faced with a beautifully prepared shrimp that tastes like something from heaven, but to have to pick off the poor thing’s tail because somewhere in foodie world we’ve decided it is acceptable and fashionable to leave the tails on the damn shrimp. And it gets all the whiney PETA girls at the table wound up and nobody can enjoy their meal.

I’m all about honoring the animal I’m eating. No problem. But shrimp tails are not so much about honor as it is about laziness and fashion. Once upon a time, we used to serve fish with the heads on and pigs with their entire bodies on, but We Got Over That. Because It’s Kind Of Gross. Foodies of the world, stand up and demand you favorite restaurants take the damn tails off the damn shrimp. We don’t serve chicken legs with the claw still attached, why the hell would we serve shrimp with the tails still attached.

And don’t give me any bullshit about “flavor”. Shrimp takes on the flavor the cook decides to give it. Shrimp Tail is not a flavor that anyone wants to know about or share. Keep that shit in the fish stock where it belongs.

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