My Jewish Heritage

So in honor of my Jewish heritage, which as far as I know is absolutely zero, but we’re all one big family if you think about it that way, I’ve decided to adopt a Jewish habit that I just learned about, which I absolutely love, which is loudly blowing great wads of snot into a handkerchief in public, because the Jewish think it is absolutely disgusting to blow your nose if nobody else knows about it, which I sort of agree with, and it’s just so much more fun seeing the expression on the faces of my coworkers when I blow a fistful of mucus loudly into a smallish piece of white cloth and then stuff it back into my pocket at work.

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