Dog School Graduation

So, the new dog graduates from computer camp tomorrow. He was originally enrolled in doggie obedience school, but he quickly figured out he was too good for that stupid puppy shit and went next door and signed himself up for something more suitable. He’s already written 3 apps, and one (Flying Dead Cats!) of them looks like it’s going to go viral any day now.

So tonight, we have to spiff up a bit for the ceremony. First I tried to trim his toenails, which he hates, so he made pitiful whining noises until I laid my hand down on the rug next to him and started petting him with the other and he promptly sat on the hand holding the clippers and refused to move until it was time for his evening walk with The Other Dad.

While he’s gone, the tub has been filled and towels are laid out and dog shampoo is at the ready, because he likes to dig dirt and occasionally catches and kills and rolls in and maybe eats moles, so he smells a bit gamey right now. Bath involves picking his ass up and carrying him up a full flight of stairs and into the master bathroom and dumping his puppy ass directly into the water. Once he’s in, he’s usually fine and doesn’t mind the scrubbing and rubbing and puppy massage and warm water rinsing. But he will kick a great deal of water out of the tub while I’m trying to force him in.

His Other Dad wanted to get him a bow tie to wear at graduation, from that gay guy from Modern Family Jesse whatever and his hot boyfriend, the proceeds which somehow benefit gay marriage, through as far as I can figure, it just funds their personal gay marriage cake, which they have announced “will make Liza and David’s look like a f**king brownie bite”.

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