So, Neil Patrick and David got married this weekend in Italy:
And the bitch Did Not Invite Me. And why? Because David thinks I might be too Loud and too Queer to hang out with Sir Elton John! And because I made up a big lie and blogged it about Sir Elton getting the shit slapped out of himself by Bette Midler, which was really funny because I said the exact same thing about Neil Patrick but apparently neither one of them found it very funny because they worship the ground Ms Midler walks on, as do we all, and the Idea of Her Slapping Them is just Too Much To Even Joke About.
In the words of Ms Midler: “Fuck Them If They Can’t Take A Joke!”
Still, I’m very happy that Neil Patrick and David finally did the deed. I’m sending them these really beautiful Waterford Salt and Pepper Shakers, which David will immediately take back to Saks and exchange for something stupid like designer underwear.