Pooping On Percocet (The Becoming Angel Part)

The nice part about Becoming Angel, is when you find your human part all engulfed in Pooping On Percocet, you discover the human part has become a touch holy and doesn’t respond the way it used to, to the various human options one usually utilizes in jump starting ones digestive tract. Forget stool softeners, you might as well be eating jelly beans. Even a quadruple dose of Ex-Lax isn’t necessarily going to get this party started.

So the holy part takes over and you instinctively start mixing up smoothies with chia seeds and aloe vera juice and fruit juice and V-8 and yogurt and brewers yeast and you’re doing amazingly healthy things for your body overall, but your bowels are just sitting there looking at you, throwing out an occasionally ghastly fart, but not much else.

So then you knock back a quart of “Green Machine” specially blended juice from the health food store that has enough kale in it to causes severe sewage problems in major cities. And let’s get real folks, everyone was making a big deal about juicing kale for its “health” properties, but really, it’s because it makes you shit out stuff you didn’t even know was In There.

But then, after hours of struggle, pushing, swearing, and dozens of false alarms, you finally crap out this little baby-turd that doesn’t seem nearly worth the effort, but you know things are working correctly again, and you stop obsessing on your bowels and start looking for something new to obsess over.

The nice thing about the Becoming Angel part is You Really Do Hear Angels Singing when it finally happens.

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