The Urinal Issue

One issue that I found really astounding during my recent stay at one of our fine public health care facilities: Girls Will Not Empty Your Urinal Unless You Beg.

You’re fresh out of surgery. You’re hungry and extremely thirsty. You want to make sure everything works correctly as far as your plumbing is concerned. You’re knocking back as much fluids as you can get. This in turn causes one to use ones urinal frequently. They’re great honking plastic things with a handle (for men, at least), but two good pisses and they’re getting dangerously full and need to be emptied.

Press the nurse call button: “I need my urinal emptied, please”. Wait a half hour. Call again. Make the same request. Call again. Someone finally shows up, and acts like they are removing toxic radioactive sludge from the room. Their little female noses are all wrinkled up like they’re smelling something worse than pure skunk spray. They grab the urinal, dump it, and rush out of the room. You have to shout after them that you need more water to drink, and they don’t want to give it to you because it will make you pee and they’ll have to empty the urinal again.

Seriously? Seriously. These are people trained to deal with any and all manner of disgusting human bodily functions and fluids on a daily basis. Yet something as simple as piss seems to push them right the f**k over the edge.

I didn’t have the pleasure of working with any male nurses or nursing assistants during my stay, so maybe this is just a girl thing. They claim to have such sensitive noses. But still, it’s not like this is a pitcher of shit or vomit or pus, IT’S JUST PISS DAMMIT. And sure, I noticed myself that all the weird drugs in my system made my piss smell like corn flakes, but that’s not what I’d consider disgusting or unpleasant, though it might put me off my feed if I normally had that for breakfast, but these are adult nurses who should have outgrown freaking corn flakes by now and know the importance of eating something more nutritious for breakfast.

It was just weird, that of all the things to get the nursing staff tied up in knots, it was something as simple as emptying a urinal….

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