Exactly The Same, But Different (Becoming Bionic Angel)

I’m too close to this, since I only had the first bionic surgery three months ago, or perhaps I’m too far away from this, because three months is longer than you realize, especially when looking back through a haze of pain medication and anticipation for part two of the adventure. In either case, I haven’t really settled into my body or my routine since returning home five days ago, because I just went through the same bionic replacement operation again, and, as noted in previous blogs, it was exactly the same as the first time, except this time, everything is completely different.

I’m sleeping quite a bit more this time. Good sleep, sound sleep, even if it is only in two-hour blocks. I think I slept most of the day yesterday, and then watched cartoons, and then went back to bed and slept through the night.

Reading is not happening right now, because I nod right off. Television happens only in very small doses. I can deal with the computer only for as long as I can stand to sit upright, until my hip starts aching and whining to stretch out again.

There is a multitude of ingredients inside me, to make me poop, including olive oil, ex-lax, mineral oil, kale and more kale, kale juice, and pots of hot coffee. There’s plenty of gas, so I know everything is moving in the right direction, slowly, and the stench is getting progressively more disgusting with each passing fart, so I’m not stressing about that part because my body feels as through it is handling everything as it should, even if it is a bit behind schedule.

The actual bionic part itself seems to be doing fine. Healing nicely, no unexplained or unnecessary pain, more strength than one would expect at this point.

I’m sleeping on The Boyfriend’s side of the bed, which is making me vaguely crazy, because I’ve created this entire nest of healing in the bedroom which is centered on my side and now I’m not there because I can’t yet get the new leg out of the bed from that side. The biggest problem is Old Dog sleeps on The Boyfriend’s side of the bed, and refuses to move much once he gets settled in for the night, so trying not to step on his head several times a night when I’m getting up and down is a challenge, but we’re coping fine.

Give me a few more days and I’ll feel normal again, more or less. Right now I just feel disconnected. Not in a bad way. Just in a weird way.

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