Neil Patrick Harris In His Underwear At The Oscars

So, we all knew ahead of time that Neil Patrick was going to be in his underwear on the Oscars, because he was so excited about it that everyone who knows him knew it even though it was supposed to be this big secret. But he still impressed. I asked David backstage just exactly how padded was NPH, but he hates me and refused to even acknowledge my being there.

So afterwards, at an intimate after-party at the boy’s new brownstone in Harlem, I asked Neil Patrick himself, because he was pretty high by that time and would answer anything. His response?

“Dude, not only was I on national TV in my bloomers, but I’m also on stage, and need to project my junk all the way back to the fourth balcony. I was wearing two cock rings, one of the kids old socks over my own schlong, covered with one of my old socks, covered with one of David’s old socks, covered with a fleece hiking sock, all stuffed into a padded jockstrap.”

And yet it all looked so real. That’s professionalism for you. Suffering for your art. Because NPH did NOT have time to stuff himself into all that backstage before the big moment. Oh no, he had to wear that shit All Night Long. Which is actually fairly common in gay men, but still, I’m impressed….

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