Once a gay man reaches the age of 13 or so, and his family formally or unconsciously realizes that Old Spice Gift Sets are simply NOT going to cut it for this male member of the family, they turn to sweaters as the go-to gift. By the time I went to college, I had such a large selection of sweaters that my new-found gay friends labeled me a Sweater Queen, something I had never even heard of before, but understood entirely.
The thing is, when your sweaters are mostly purchased at J.C.Penney and WalMart and other assorted discount stores, because your family and friends do not really understand the value of a designer label, you really can’t proclaim the owner a Sweater Queen. The garments are simply not fabulous enough to earn that queerest of labels.
For example, I wore a sweater my mother gave to me as a Christmas Present to work this past week, and not one single person stopped and said “Hey, you look like you’ve just returned from a refreshing week of Alpine Skiing”. I was a tad disappointed, to say the least.