Unbeknownst to her, my mother was at some point recently bit by a tick, even though she isn’t really much of an outdoorsy girl anymore, and thereby caught some weird tick disease that isn’t Lyme Disease but is similar and has many of the same symptoms and apparently the same treatment plan. So she’s in the hospital, getting mainlined with drugs to fight the infection and whatever the hell else the little bugger gave her. In lieu of flowers, I sent a flea and tick collar.
My aunt was highly offended and has unfriended me, even through I don’t have a Facebook account. My cousin sent me a text that said FUNNIEST COUSIN EVER!!!! but he’s sort of a dumbass like that. My brother thinks it was a fairly dull and boring and predictable thing to do, cause that’s how our family rolls.