Home Improvements

So, we tell people our hobby is renovating houses, but that’s just code for “we occasionally have to sink a great deal of time and cash into this money-pit we purchased during the recession, so that it doesn’t fall down around us”.  We’ve replaced all the windows.  We’ve replaced and totally luxed out the guest bathroom.  The kitchen was gutted and rebuilt from the studs out as our first project.  We’re currently overpaying some old stoner to replace the original 30-year old cedar siding that’s rotting off with Hardi-board that looks sort of like wood siding except that it’s cement composite and won’t burn or rot or do much of anything but hang there until someone else buys the house and decides to take it all down and cover this beautiful modern house with vinyl instead, because that’s what people do in Kentucky.

There are two sizeable decks, both of which were in danger of dry-rotting completely off the house, which we stripped and repaired and rebuilt and reboarded and basically made useable again this summer.  We’re pretty proud of them, though there is still substantial finishing work to be done (staining and wire railings).  They were both pretty pitiful, due to age, and now I would comfortably hold a Boy Dance Party on either or both, except I suspect the neighbors would call the police, since they deal quite well with one gay couple in the neighborhood, and for awhile we had two and that was even all right, since we’re rapidly raising property values throughout the subdivision, but so far we’ve all been older and stayed more or less fully clothed at all times and not invited a house full of go-go boys over for after-hours.

Now, if the goddamn stoner and his crew will actually show up this week and get some actual siding done, we might find ourselves nearly ready for resale, unless The Donald wins, and then the whole country falls into a depression that makes the 1930s look like a pizza party….

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